Finding Harmony with Truth, Knowledge, and Certainty: A Meaningful Journey

By Siti Nur ‘Alaniah Abdul Wahid

Phd at RZS-CASIS (2013 – 2021) & Freelance educator

It’s not because of our will that things happen. It’s the will of Allah.

– Syaikh Mohamed Ibrahim Mohamed Kassim.

It all started with the heart seeking for something, yet it wasn’t sure what it was and how to attain it. All I remember was that I was searching for a teacher, a mentor, and yearning for majlis al-‘ilm. That was sometime in Feb 2013. Then, a good friend said to me, based on his teacher’s advice:

إذا صدق المريد، وجد الشيخ أمام الباب

Which means, “With sincerity, a Murīd will find his Syaikh at the front door”.

I didn’t get what it meant at that point of time. Soon after, I got to know about the CASIS Saturday Night Lecture series. I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to attend my first lecture that was delivered by Professor Syed Muhammad Naquib al- Attas back in April 2013. I remembered the content was deep and intense that I felt overwhelmed, yet it kept drawing me back to the lecture, wanting to hear more from the Professor himself. And in June 2013, I was so glad to receive an email from Dr. Khalif (he was the Academic Coordinator at that time) stating that I’ve been accepted as a prospective postgraduate student at CASIS. I then realized that my pursuing studies in CASIS was not just about pursuing a career in academia, but it was where my spiritual learning journey began. Despite my previous academic experiences in Islamic colleges and universities, the learning journey in CASIS is unlike anything I had experienced. In its arduous, laborious, to the extent of that it was physically as well as mentally taxing, I find peace, tranquility, and joy in learning. I am fortunate to have been able to attend lectures by brilliant and amazing teachers who have given me a different outlook on identity, life, religion, and man. One that is rooted in the tradition of Islam with a proper framework that gives me a better understanding on the true meanings of key terms and concepts on matters pertaining to religion, knowledge, education, and man. This ṣuhbah experience along with the company of wonderful friends and people in CASIS made me feel at home. The kind and tremendous assistance rendered by former and current officers of UTM & RZS-CASIS, Puan Rashidah, Puan Sharifah Fadzlina, and Puan Nurhazirah, and especially sister Sharifah Hajar Almahdaly, have certainly helped me a lot during this journey. I truly appreciate everything they have done for me over the years. May Allah s.w.t. bless them and reward them greatly.

With theory comes practice. As I continued the journey, the path seems to be more challenging. Tribulations came one after another, not only on the academic aspect but matters of the “self” as well. The thought of giving up did cross my mind, but the beautiful ukhuwwah, the collaborative learning, and the constant support and reminder by our dear teachers rekindled the light, igniting the zeal in me to continue the journey. For example, when our teacher, Professor Wan Mohd Nor shared in class that for every hardship and challenge we face it could be either a test or punishment. He talked about the confidence that a soccer player and a scholar must have. A soccer player who missed a shot must not fear but must have confidence and get back on his feet. It was a simple analogy yet so profound. And, alhamdulillah, with God’s blessings and His will, I safely travelled to and fro between KL and Singapore weekly, by car, bus, or flight, sometimes together with the company of my Singaporean friends, especially Bro. Hasanul and Bro. Gokhan. During the weekend, I was always looking forward to attending not only the compulsory and elective courses, but also the reading sessions such as Kitab Ta’lim al-Muta’allim with Dr. Khalif, Kitab al-‘Ilm of Iḥya’, Jawāhir al-Quran, and al-Iqtiṣād fī al-I’tiqād with Dr. Wan Suhaimi, and especially the Saturday Night Lecture series. I guess it was more of a travelling of the soul than of my physical self, finding harmony with knowledge, truth, and certainty. 

In my 8 years in CASIS, I’ve learned many things. In a non-tautological way, I learned about learning. I learned about teaching. I learned about myself. I learned about God. I learned about the universe. And there is much more to learn still. It was like a private retreat for me, gradually discovering my weaknesses. Throughout the lectures, the insights from my teachers have truly helped me improve myself academically, intellectually and spiritually. The aspect of being firm and conscious of one’s worldview that is emphasised consistently at CASIS provides me with a clear knowledge framework that guides me in my outlook and thinking, ensuring that it is not desacralized and remain connected to the Truth and God, albeit living in a modern secular state. Concertedly, with the stress on the importance of definition, and acknowledging different places and ranks in Allah’s creation serves as a reminder for me to be careful not to go beyond the limit, making the practice of adab and justice (‘adl) becomes more meaningful.

The knowledge and experience in CASIS have benefited me in my personal and professional life, which mainly involves teaching, educating, training as well as developing religious content. Having deep interest in psychology, it motivated me to study the educational philosophy of Islamic education, i.e. to look at the connection and relevance of psychological foundation to the educational philosophy of Islamic educational institutions. The process of completing the research was like going through a spiritual development training that reflects on governing and discipling my own self. In understanding the essential nature of human being, I learn the importance of understanding the inner faculties of human being; Ruh (spirit), nafs (soul), ‘aqal (intellect), and qalb (heart). By having the knowledge of these concepts, I realise that it helps in developing the potentiality and actuality of a man of Islam imbued with virtues in accordance to his natural state of being, as envisaged in Islam. The cultivation of this potential is aimed towards a consciousness and certainty (yaqin) of the ultimate Truth, for the purpose of achieving true happiness. It resonates with the saying of the Prophet, “Whoever knows his self, knows his Lord”, of which Professor Al-Attas emphasized repeatedly in many of his lectures and writings.

I truly treasure the discussion I had with my supervisor, Dr Wan Suhaimi Wan Abdullah, his constructive criticism and his eye for detail helped tremendously in my process of learning, particularly, in decluttering my mind for a clarity and focus in thinking, and organizing my ideas to better articulate my thoughts. It will surely benefit me in my everyday life as well as I embark on my career path. As I witness the dedication of our teachers, their expertise in various disciplines and sciences, and the harmonious unity of religious sciences and other sciences such as human and philosophical sciences, CASIS is a good example of a centre of learning that equips us not only with the knowledge of essential elements in Islam but also, with the exposure to read and discuss Western sources, it prepares us to be cognizant of the Western culture and civilization. Ultimately, with humility yet confidence, it enables us to respond to contemporary issues, especially in today’s context where we are faced with complex challenges and crises.   

Words are not enough to express my gratitude to my dear teachers for their kindness and dedication in guiding us,

Professor Dr. Wan Mohd Nor Wan Daud, Professor Dr. Muhammad Zainiy Uthman, Associate Professor Dr. Khalif Muammar A. Harris, Professor Dr. Tatiana A. Denisova, Associate Professor Dr. Wan Suhaimi Wan Abdullah, Dr. Syamsuddin Arif, Dr. Suleiman Mohammed Hussein Boayo and Dr. Adi Setia Mohd Dom.

May Allah swt bless our dear teachers with good health and long life so that we can continue to benefit from their knowledge and experience. And may Allah s.w.t. ease the path for me so that I’ll be able to continue this meaningful journey. Amīn.

Siti Nur Alaniah Abdul Wahid had recently completed her PhD defence at the Raja Zarith Sofiah Centre for Advanced Studies on Islam, Science and Civilisation (RZS-CASIS) with the title “Reformulation of Psychological Foundation of Educational Philosophy of Madrasah in Singapore”. She earned her Bachelor Degree in Usuluddin at Al-Azhar University Egypt, in 2004 and Masters in Interdisciplinary Islamic Studies from Syarif Hidayatullah Islamic University Jakarta, in 2011. She also holds a Diploma in Counseling Psychology from Lee Community College Singapore. She is currently working as lecturer on an ad-hoc basis at various institutions She also serves as an associate member of Fatwa Committee of Islamic Religious Council of Singapore (MUIS), and high council member of Singapore Islamic Scholars and Religious Teachers Association (PERGAS).

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